Smoking Gun

Al-Taji, Iraq—Iraqis: "Smoking gun" made with duct tape purchased at Wal-Mart
Wal-Mart has been accused of providing aid and comfort to the enemy. Administration officials today reported that Wal-Mart has shipped an undisclosed number of rolls of duct tape to Iraq to be used in their remotely piloted aircraft (drones) program. The aircraft that the United States believes could be used to spread chemical weapons was made of balsa wood and duct tape A spokesman for Wal-Mart blames Homeland Security Chief Tom Ridge. Ever since he told Americans to put away the duct tape our sales have been falling. We counted on a reliable market and the administration failed us. They have no one to blame but themselves. John Ashcroft said, "we have identified the employees who packed and shipped the material and they have been declared enemy combatants. They are traitors, simple as that."

Disclaimer: This story was obtained from Iraqi officials and unnamed administration sources both known to play fast and loose with the truth.

A slightly different version of this story can be found here